3 Weeks from today I will be on a plane flying to Haiti. Flying away from family; my husband and children. Flying away from the cold towards the warm. Flying away from comfort and easy to uncomfortable and heart breaking. 3 Weeks from today.
I have filled out the paper work, signed the forms, got my shots.. (ouch!), am waiting on my malaria pills. I have bought my two jars of peanut butter to take that will be used to help feed the people breakfast. A breakfast that they normally don't get. I have mentally written a list of what to pack, and then re-written it again and again.... 3 Weeks from today.
I spent the morning around a table with other moms talking about fear. What is it we are most afraid of; something happening to our children, to our spouses, to us.. the things we have no control over. I have a lot to say about fear, about overcoming that fear, about the very things in my own life where those fears have played out and mostly about the sovereignty of God in those moments. And those stories will come, I promise.
But today, as I prepare for Haiti, I am naming the fears in regards to this trip, and in naming them, giving them over to God. And as I give them over, thanking Him. For it is in those moments of thanking Him that those fears can be transformed into Joy. A joy that is birthed in the perfect love of Christ.
* Leaving my children for 10 days... the ache that my arms will feel as I cannot hold them, the heart ache of missing them.. it is gut wrenching. 10 days without my babes. And yet, I am thankful they will be extra loved by other family members and friends. They will have special moments with their daddy. And I am thankful that they are learning about the work of God as their mama goes to serve.
* The Food. I am afraid of the food in Haiti. Silly? yep.. but this picky eater will struggle. And then I will see starving children and I will hopefully get over it. And I will be thankful for any food that is given to me because it will be prepared by loving hands.
* Car Sickness. I cannot be a passenger in a car. Anywhere we go, I drive. If I don't drive, I get sick. I even got those sea bands to wear on your wrists and made John drive the other day.. 20 minutes into it - I was puking on the side of the road. I hear the roads in Haiti are not good, I hear it can take a long time to go 2 miles. It is bumpy and chaotic and I am feeling sick just thinking about it. I am certain I will not handle it well, and will be sick anytime we drive anywhere. Ugh.. . But, I am thankful the dr today wrote me a script for meds that might help. and I am thankful that car sickness is temporary, once w arrive at our destination.... I will feel better. Until I am back on the road again.!
* Bugs, Snakes, Spiders, Mosquitos.... need I say more? it could be ugly. Thank you God for malaria pills, and bug spray, and other people who will be able to rescue me from any of the above creepiness.
To be honest, I have some fears for this trip, but mostly they are fears of being inconvenienced and uncomfortable. I know that God has called me at this time for this trip. I know that God is going to do some awesome things.
3 Weeks Friends.