weariness, bible study & walks

It’s Saturday, it’s sunny, there’s a cool breeze, (I think, I have not actually stepped foot outside yet today) and I am feeling weary.  Weary of being awake by 5 in the morning because that is what time Hannah thinks our day should start thanks to the sun being up that early.  Weary of trying to teach Hannah and Asher to play nicely together rather then fighting over toys.  Weary of all the clutter and mess that happens in my house that I can never seem to get on top of.  Just weary… 

I have been trying to get out each morning with the kids for a walk and most mornings they both really enjoy our walk.  While I huff and puff pushing them in the double stroller, they sit up observing and asking questions about everything they see and hear.  “Mommy, what’s that?”  Over and over and over and over… 

I’ve started becoming creative in my answers only because I get tired of the same ole answers time and time again…  We see kittens and cats and dogs and motorcycles and birds and we hear the train and trucks and lawn mowers and it’s quite the chatty walk.  I normally enjoy all the talk and questions and adventure of seeing what we can find, but yesterday morning was trying. 

Asher, over and over kept whining.  Mommy, I’m cold…. I need socks…. I need gloves….  I cold, I cold…  over and over and over.  And really, it was a bit cooler then it has been but it wasn’t COLD and even if it was cold, there was nothing I could do about it!  I did not have gloves with me, nor a blanket or an extra coat.  We were blocks away from home in the middle of our walk, and he was just going to have to be cold!  And as he whined, I patiently said over and over, I’m sorry Asher, we’ll be home soon, here’s the sun – let it warm you up, I can’t do anything about that right now, it’s okay Asher…..  over and over and over.  I was getting inpatient. 

(You gotta love the ‘crack’!)

And then, in my impatience, it dawned on me. 

I do the EXACT same thing with God!  Over and over I whine to God.  But God why?  God makes things better, God, God, God…  over and over and God in all His loving goodness, reminds me over and over that it’s okay.  Things will get better.  Just rest in the SON, He is with me, it’s okay… 

And He does not lose patience with my insistence that I’m not content in …  whatever!  But He does remind me to trust Him and love him. 

I have the amazing opportunity to start leading a bible study for a few girls in the Kennett area who are also young moms.  There is this ministry that I have gotten so excited about as I learn more and more about, called YoungMoms and it’s a ministry to Teen Moms.  It started in September with a few girls and is now up to 30 girls.  Amazing.  Most of the girls are Mexican, 1st or 2nd generation, in poverty.  Their lifestyle is completely different then mine or the youth that I generally work with.  Most drop out of school, move from place to place..  and are raising a baby.  I’m 35 and I know how hard it is to be raising children.  I cannot image how difficult that is at 17, or 16…  not married…  heartbreaking.  YoungMoms is helping these girls to be better moms, to finish school, to get jobs and to KNOW that there is a God who is crazy about them!  3 of these girls have asked to study the bible.  And, I volunteered to do this with them and I’m thrilled.  A bit nervous, but thrilled! 

I’m not sure where to start or what to do with them, but I want them to know Christ and to know how much He loves them and values them and has created them.  I’m excited that while we study the bible together, our kids will play together.  I’m excited that as we talk about how they can be better mom’s, that I can say – me too, I need that too.  I’m excited that as they share the struggle with disciplining and sleeping and being patient and teaching…  that I can share with them in that because although I may be…  err…  20 years older…?(What?!!), we are all loving and raising these precious gifts that God has given us. 

I think we are starting on Friday!  Pray for me and for these girls that they may fall in love with Jesus? 

And later today, we’re going to celebrate this one turning 2!  Yeah Emily!